Extend?

I have been thinking since I moved here "wouldn't it have been nice if I was with the same students all year?" See, Asian school years operate on two semesters and one mini-semester. First semester runs from March 2nd-June 20th, and the other from August 31st-Dec 24th, with a mini-one from Feb 7th-Feb 19th. So, Koreans have a full school year with a shorter break for summer in the middle, and a long break in-between school years for winter. Kinda opposite of American school years. Anyway, this inconsistency of Korean & Foreign teachers is hard on the students. Well, I happen to comment to Seunghui one day that it would be nice if I could just stay until the end of this school year. I mean, I enjoy the students and my wonderful co-teacher. Well, she came back within five minutes with a response to my comment. This being in a Korean school where anything you do takes a very long time.

If I chose to leave Korea at the end of my contract: I would get full re-pay of pension (2mil KRW), bonus pay (2mil KRW), my flight (3.3mil KRW), and the ability to stop in Nepal to hike / travel / complete mission work for one-month (or more) with the money given to me to fly to the US. I would then live with my parents / brother and enjoy their company while I love on my kitty, cook, clean, go to the gym, and job-hunt.

I don't enjoy the company of foreigners in Korea because most of them are a bit too ronchy and crude for my taste, while the others just aren't my type, already have friends, or live too far away. I am unable to have more than a handful of Korean friends because most Koreans don't know English very well, and those that do are young and live near universities in or around Seoul. Point being, I have very much missed the company of others. I work with Koreans that don't speak my language, and the few that can, don't know much. Seunghui was the first, and remains the only, to really talk with me. But even then, it's not her native language, so talking freely with her isn't really an option. I walk / ride to school alone, work / sit at my desk alone, walk home alone, live alone, eat alone, look at the computer alone, watch internet TV alone, listen to the radio alone, and sit around and do nothing alone. Babies that aren't touched eventually die.. I guess in way we are all like that. I live for the Skype dates I have with my family, Lauren (Ohio) once, Heather (California) four or five times, and Miranda (Mississippi) all the time. I communicate with Hayley (Florida), Jen (Ansan, SK), Alida (Ilsan, SK), Angelique (Siheung, SK) via facebook. Internet TV, American radio talk shows, and the social network of Facebook has really helped keep me from becoming insane during my time in Korea. I'm not at all trying to deter anyone from coming, because I think it is an experience that you will never regret! I certainly wouldn't take back this experience because it has taught me so much. However, I would never want to relive it. But, of course, as you may have figured out, reliving what I have been through is impossible....Why? I've learned from my mistakes AND there are some things in life that, ONCE learned, will FOREVER change you. Aside from all this who-ha, I have never found a church family and don't participate in any church activities or ministries.

There is huge possibility that I won't find a job at home. And, there is a definite possibility (yea, yea; oxy-moron..I know) that when I do find a job, I won't be ready to move away from my family and live alone again. There is one more thing... I'm scared of failure. I would be embarrassed and ashamed of my failure. Failure to get a job, failure to succeed at a job, and failure to find co-workers and friends that love me and want to give me a chance. Well, ok...and failure to make money. Although that one isn't that difficult to accomplish. I have a safety-net in Korea. I have a job, I can make money, I'm good at what I do, and I like the person I work with. Last school year I was just a white face with no reason to be here, but this semester I have responsibility, and I like it. But, and I holding on to what's ok because I am scared to experience what could be great? Yeah... There is a point a which staying in the comfort of my bud is more painful than venturing outside of it to bloom.

If I re-sign: The school will give me a re-sign bonus (2mil KRW), a year-end bonus (2mil KRW), a round-trip flight home during winter OR summer break (~1.8-4mil KRW), two years pension (4mil KRW), and another year-end bonus (2mil KRW) **May 2011-May 2012**

If I extend my current contract: The school will pay me my year-end bonus (2mil KRW), one year's + extended amount's worth of pension (~2.8mil KRW), and return flight home (~3mil KRW) ***extensions aren't as "cushy" as re-signs***

Ok..so there's Nepal. See, I feel in love with Nepal. I was planning to return, and I was plannign to do so with the money that I the school issues me to fly home. I really don't wanna just give up this opportunity. I'm at a loss really. Finish in Korea, go to Nepal in May, come home June or July, and then..... (to be continued), OR stay in Korea with a guaranteed job, guaranteed pay, no friends, no family, loneliness, a great co-teacher, good students, cultural experiences, travel opportunities, no pre-paid round-trip visit home, no 2nd-year bonus money, no re-sign bonus money, and NO Nepal?